The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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