great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
