I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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