She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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