id be glad to
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
