Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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