so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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