he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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