I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
