Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
