My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
