drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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