I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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