Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
