I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
