I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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