Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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