Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
