Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?