Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
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His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
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If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.