Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
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If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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