I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize