you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
