I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Randomize
