maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
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As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
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I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.