ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.