Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed