That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
