she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
