Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
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You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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