the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
