K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
