so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
