tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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