goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
