You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
