i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
