hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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