Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
