He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
