that's an acceptable place to lick
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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