My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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