Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
