ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I want to fling myself into the sun
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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