dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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