he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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