Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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