I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.