I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini