my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.