Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
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I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
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I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm