Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?