The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
