That's intense
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
