We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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