My Higher Power is John Stamos
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize