my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize