I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize