I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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