I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize