I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
