As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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