He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
