You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
