Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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