Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...