I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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