Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
