the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No subtext here. People are naked.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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