is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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