That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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