I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
