none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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