She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize