hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
