We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
