I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we're making bets on your personal life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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