is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
