Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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