i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
